Tom Foran Clark

Richard Mark Emery, having traveled on a bike from Italy over North Africa into Spain, intending next to go north into Scandinavia, was again in Grez-sur-Loing, France on March 12, 2001, dropping in on the cranky expatriated American octegenarian Walt Lowen, proprietor of The George Sand Bookshop. No sooner had Emery walked in than the sallow-faced old bookseller tartly welcomed Emery with the bitter news that, though Sultan Mahmud of Ghazni had, in the 12th century, been good enough to spare from destruction two giant stone Buddhas located in Bamiyan, Afghanistan, now, at the outset of the 21st, the Taliban leader Mullah Mohammed Omar had declared these "insults to Islam," the twin Bamiyan Buddhas, should be destroyed. The Taliban militia had entered the long valley stretching between the twin chains of Hindu Kush mountains, placed dynamite in tiny holes drilled into the massive statuary, and -- boom!

The George Sand Bookshop now boasted a shiny computer at the front desk. Lowen steered Emery over to it, and searched for further news of the two giant stone Buddhas in Bamiyan, Afghanistan, blown up that day. "When I heard about the destruction of these ancient Buddha statues," Walt Lowen grieved, "it really got to me. Carved out of the sandy cliffs by artisans influenced by Hellenistic art, admired by connoisseurs of Greco-Buddhist art, they were just wiped out -- just like that. Here, have a look." Emery glanced over at the web page, but now Lowen clicked with his mouse to link to a totally different page -- an online auction site. "I suppose I'm so sensitive to these bombings of the Bamiyan statues because I recently won, via this here site, two twin statuettes that never showed up," he said. Lowen said he was convinced his twin treasures were also lost -- gone for good. "So when these two Buddhas were blown up by the Taliban," he said, "it hit me hard."

Lowen had received a number of e-mails telling him the news re. the two small figurines he'd purchased from one Dennis McLaren, an American then living on Crete:

JANUARY 2, 2001. FROM: DENNIS MCLAREN. TO: WALTER LOWEN. SUBJECT: AUCTION ITEM #76972328888. "DEAR WALTER LOWEN, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WINNING ONLINE BID. THANK YOU FOR YOUR LIGHTNING FAST PAYMENT. YOUR TWIN GODDESS FIGURINES, ADRASTEIA AND IDE, HAVE BEEN SENT TO YOU. UNFORTUNATELY, BECAUSE OF THE SIZE AND WEIGHT, THE SHIPPING COST ALONE FOR THE GODDESSES COST ME MUCH MORE THAN I'D ANTICIPATED. I HAD ONLY ASKED A SMALL TOKEN SUM FROM YOU. COULD YOU SEND A LITTLE EXTRA? I WILL APPRECIATE YOUR CONSIDERATION. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YOURS, DENNIS MCLAREN."

MARCH 1, 2001 FROM: WALTER LOWEN. TO: DENNIS MCLAREN. SUBJECT: RE: AUCTION ITEM #76972328888. "DEAR DENNIS MCLAREN: I HAVE A LITTLE PROBLEM. I PAID FOR THE TWIN GODDESS FIGURINES ON THE FIRST OF JANUARY. I AM QUITE CONFIDENT THAT MY MONEY HAS ARRIVED IN YOUR HANDS. IT IS NOW MARCH THE 1ST, AND THE MERCHANDISE HAS NOT YET ARRIVED IN MY HANDS HERE. I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD A PROBLEM PAYING ADDITIONAL MONEY TO HELP WITH YOUR SHIPPING PROBLEMS, BUT THE FIGURINES HAVEN'T BEEN RECEIVED. IF YOU COULD LOOK INTO THIS MATTER, I WOULD APPRECIATE IT. WALTER LOWEN."

MARCH 1, 2001 "DEAR WALTER LOWEN: SORRY. I'M DISAPPOINTED THE GODDESSES HAVEN'T ARRIVED THERE YET. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THEY HAVE NOT ARRIVED BY THE END OF THE WEEK OR, ON THE OTHER HAND, LET ME KNOW IF THEY DO BEFORE THE END OF THE WEEK (TO PUT MY MIND AT EASE). THANK YOU. DENNIS MCLAREN."

MARCH 4, 2001 "ALL RIGHT. I WILL KEEP MY EYES PEELED FOR THEM. WALTER LOWEN."

MARCH 4, 2001 "DEAR WALTER LOWEN, IF YOU COULD PAY THE ADDITIONAL SHIPPING EXPENSE, I'D BE MOST APPRECIATIVE. HOPE YOU ENJOY THE GORGEOUS TWIN GODDESS FIGURINES. THANK YOU. DENNIS MCLAREN."

MARCH 6, 2001 "DENNIS: I HAVE NOT YET SEEN HIDE NOR HAIR OF THE TWIN GODDESSES. I WOULD BE HAPPY TO PAY YOU THE EXTRA POSTAGE, BUT I'D LIKE TO HAVE THE MERCHANDISE ARRIVE HERE FIRST. WALTER LOWEN."

In his auction listing, Lowen showed Emery, this Dennis McLaren had described the beautifully photographed Adrasteia and Ide figurines as "similar, both made of ivory, wood, and, apparently, gold. One figurine is a narrow-waisted woman in an extraordinary apron and long skirt with flounces, her breasts completely bared. She is holding up two snakes, one in each hand, apparently shaking them like Mexican maracas -- the snakes, I mean."

Dennis McLaren, who'd claimed to have purchased the two small figurines in Crete at a gift shop in the western part of the island, at Chania, had gone on to point out subtle differences -- like the snakes in the hands of each the young women. "The shorter of the two goddesses --probably Ide -- has two snakes on her person, both diminutive, held tightly in her clutches," McLaren had written. "The taller of the two goddesses -- pronbably Adrasteia -- also has two snakes on her person, but only one of them is in her clutches. She holds the head of this very long snake in her right hand. The rest of the snake is entwined around her right arm, slung over her shoulder, dropping down one side of her back, across her buttocks, and up the other side of her back, then over her left shoulder, and around her left arm. The goddess holds the snake's tail in her left hand. On top of her head is the head of the second snake. The body of this snake passes by the goddess's left ear, curves around the outside of her left breast, continues to below her waist, slithers across her belly, then extends back up the right side of her body where its tail is looped around her right ear, suggesting, that this girl, like her twin, Ide, holds the key to enormous potent rapture and fertility."

On the auction web site, though McLaren had admitted to being only twenty-four, the seller claimed to be an antiquities scholar from New England who'd graduated from the University of California at Irvine, California. He had got work, he'd told Lowen in e-mails, at the J. Paul Getty Institute, which had been so benificent as to send him overseas in the first place. He said he'd been in Crete for the previous three months, participating in excavations at a site that had been called, in ancient Minoan times, Kydonia.

"Basically," Lowen said, "This man McLaren totally botched his simply sending them here to me. He just completely botched it. Now the twin goddess figurines, Adrasteia and Ide, are missing -- not blown up, I hope, but just misplaced," Lowen said. "I never got the figurines. McLaren may have sent them to Denmark.," Lowen said, "to Copenhagen."

MARCH 8, 2001 "WALTER, READ THE FEEDBACK FROM OTHERS WHO HAVE PURCHASED ITEMS FROM ME. THIS HAS NOT HAPPENED BEFORE. ITEMS I'VE SENT OTHERS ALWAYS ARRIVED PUNCTUALLY AFTER I SHIPPED THEM. I'M STUMPED AS TO WHY THE FIGURINES HAVE NOT YET ARRIVED AT YOUR PARNERS' HOME. IF HE IS LOOKING TO RECEIVE MERELY TWO FIGURINES MADE OF HIDE AND HAIR, HE'LL BE BLINDED BY THESE TWINS -- FAEIENCE, IVORY INLAY, GOLD -- BOTH VERY RISQUE, WITH ENORMOUS JUTTING FRONTAL FEATURES, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. YOUR E-MAILS MAKE ME THINK I COULD BE JUST THEBEST ONLINE AUCTION STATUETTE AND JEWELRY SELLER EVER, AND IT WOULDN'T MATTER TO YOU. HEY, I DON'T WORK FOR THE PSOT OFFICE. I WORK FOR MYSELF -- AND I WANT HAPPY CUSTOMERS, NOT THIS INSULT YOU POUR ON MY HEAD. SOME OF YOU BUYERS ARE REALLY OUT THERE. YOU DON'T SEEM TO HAVE A CLUE ABOUT WHAT ALL GOES INTO GETTING A LISTING UP AND RUNNING AT AN ONLINE AUCTION IN THE FIRST PLACE -- FIND, EVALUATE, CALCULATE PRICE, PHOTOGRAPH, MEASURE, DESFRIBE, LIST, STORE, MONITOR ACTIVITY, ANSWE INQUIRIES, FINALIZE SALE, RETRIEVE, WRAP, PACK, TAPE, LABEL, MARK FRAGILE, GO TO POST OFFICE, GETSHIPPING COST COMPARISONS, SEND, WRITE FEEDBACK, ENDURE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK, AND ON AND ON. IT'S A LOT OF WORK FOR LOST ITEMS, UNHAPPY CUSTOMERS, AND LOUSY FEEDBACK. YOU SEEM PARTICULARLY DESIROUS OF CREATING AN UNHAPPY SELLER. RE-READING YOUR E-MAILS, I THINK, IT JUST DOESN'T EVEN PAY TO TRY TO DO A GREAT JOB. SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO PUT YOU DOWN NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO -- AND PERFECT STRANGERS BUYING AND SELLING ON THESE AUCTION SITES MAKES IT SO EASY FOR SOME PEOPLE TO RAGE AND CURSE AT OTHER PEOPLE. I AM LOSING MY PATIENCE. IT ISN'T LIKE A HAVE A BUNCH OF GODDESSES HANGING AROUND HERE AND I SELL THEM ONLINE AND THAT'S MY LIFE. I THINK YOU'RE NOT ABLETO UNDERTAND THE ERROR IS THE POST OFFICE'S. YOU SEEM TO BE VENTING MOST UNREASONABLY -- I'M AVAILABLE TO YOU FOR THAT? THAT'S JUST SAD. YOU HAVE A TERRIBLE ATTITUDE. I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, BUT I SUSPECT YOU MAY NOT WANT THAT. ALL I WANTED WAS TO GET THOSE GODDESSES TO YOU IN MINT CONDITION IN A NICE WAY. THAT'S IT. IF I FAILED, YOU'LL JUST GET YOUR MONEY BACK. AND IF THE POST OFFICE FAILED, YOU'LL GET YOUR MONEY BACK. AND IF YOU'RE NOT TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT THE FIGURINES -- YOU'LL GET YOUR MONEY BACK. BUT IF I FIND OUT YOU LIED TO ME, I'LL COME UP THERE PERSONALLY, AND YOU'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS. YOURS SINCERELY, DENNIS MCLAREN."

MARCH 8, 2001: "MR. MCLAREN, I UNDERSTAND YOUR FRUSTRATION WITH MY E-MAIL, BUT NOW YOU MUST UNDERSTAND MY FRUSTRATION. I CLEARLY ASKED THAT YOU SEND THE TWO FIGURINES TO MY ADDRESS IN FRANCE. THE TWIN GODDESSES HAVE NOT YET ARRIVED HERE. I DO NOT HAVE THE GODDESSES. YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER HEARD FROM ME AGAIN HAD I RECEIVED THEM. AND THE WAY THEY WERE PROBABLY SHIPPED -- INEXPERTLY, I CAN ONLY IMAGINE -- AND PROBABLY FROM THE REMOTEST POSSIBLE POST OFFICE ON THE REMORE ISLAND, CRETE -- IT'S GOING TO BE A HELL OF A LOT OF TROUBLE TO FIGURE OUT NOW WHERE THEY ARE AND WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THEM. I'M A PRETTY WELL EDUCATED PERSON, AND I KNOW IT DOESN'T TAKE THE MAIL SERVICE TWO MONTH TO SEND A COUPLE OF FOOT-HIGH TWIN GODDESSE FIGURES FROM CRETE TO GREZ-SUR-LOING, FRANCE. IT SEEMS YOU THINK I AM DISHONEST. I BEGIN TO THINK YOU ARE A TOTAL FRAUD. YOU THINK I'M GOING TO JUST SIT BACK AND TAKE THIS? IF YOU DON'T TAKE SOME SORT OF ACTION, SOON, I'M GOING TO FLY DOWN THERE TO CRETE AND FIND YOU -- THEN WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS! WATCH YOUR BACK. WALTER LOWEN."

MARCH 8, 200l: "DEAR WALTER LOWEN, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE DISHONEST. YOUR E-MAILS ORIGINALLY CAME FLAMING FROM YOU TO ME -- VERY ACCUSATORY, DOWNPUTTING, AND UPSETTING TO ME. I FELT BAD THAT YOUR GODDESSES DIDN'T ARRIVE THERE -- AND I STILL FEEL BAD. IT IS A BAD SITUATION. IT'S THE WORST AUTHENTICALLY BAD SITUATION I'VE HAD YET ONLINE, WHERE AUCTION BIDDERS LURK, JUST WAITING TO SATY VILE, SNOTTY THINGS TO AUCTION SELLERS -- EVEN IF THEY HAVE A REPUTATION FOR DOUING GREAT WORK. I SEE NOW THAT YOU ARE A GENTLEMAN, AND I THINK WE'RE ON A GENTLEMANLY FOOTING NOW. I STILL FEEL THE FAULT LIES WITH THE POST OFFICE, BUT IT IS POSSIBLE THAT I SENT YOUR GODDESSES TO THE WRONG PERSON/ADDRESS. I THINK I SENT THEM TO FRANCE, BUT INDEED I MAY HAVE SENT THEM IN ERROR TO DENMARK. ANOTHER FELLOW, IN COPENHAGEN, WHO BID ON AND WON SOME JEWELRY FROM ME THE SAME DAY AS YOU GOT YOUR GODDESSES, MAY HAVE RECEIVED THE TWINS. I MAY IN FACT HAVE INADVERTENTLY SENT HIM ADRASTEIA AND IDE AS WELL AS HIS JEWELRY -- IN ERROR. I WILL FEEL TERRIBLE IF HE GOT THE JEWELRY AND THE GODDESSES, BUT HE'S NOT TELLING ME ABOUT THE GODDESSES. THAT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME. I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR FEELING BAD TOWARD ME FOR THE LATENESS OF YOUR TWIN FIGURINES' ARRIVAL, OR NON-ARRIVAL -- THE ABSENCE OF the FIGURINES. I'M ONLY SAYING I DID MY BEST. IF I DID INDEED BOTCH IT -- IF THOSE SPLENDID TWINS ARE IN THE HANDS OF SOME NEFARIOUS RECIPIENT WHO'S NOT SAYING ANYTHING -- I'LL FEEL SUFFICIENT PAIN FOR THAT. I WAS, AND AM, SORRY. IT HURTS ME -- HURTS NOT MERELY MY ARROGANCE BUT ALSO MY DEEPER, AUTHENTIC PRIDE. I DO FEEL TERRIBLE THAT YOU DIDN'T GET THE TWINS YET. I WILL SEND A REFUND CHECK TO YOU -- AND I WILL TRY TO TRACK DOWN THE GODDESS TWINS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT MORE I CAN DO (OR FEEL) AS CONCERNS THIS SITUATION. IF I HAVE TO TRAVEL TO COPENHAGEN --OR IF TO FRANCE IT IS THAT I MUST TRAVEL -- I AM GOING TO GET THE BOTTOM OF THIS! DENNIS MCLAREN."

MARCH 8, 2001 "JUST SEND A REFUND CHECK AND STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME."

MARCH 12, 2001 "MR. LOWEN, MY APOLOGIES TO YOU. INDEED, ADRASTEIA AND IDE WERE ACCIDENTALLY SHIPPED TO COPENHAGEN -- TO THE SAME MAN TO WHOM I SHIPPED JEWELRY. NOT TO YOUR ADDRESS. I AM LOOKING FOR THE NAME AND ADDRESS OF THE MAN IN COPENHAGEN TO WHOM I SHIPPED THE FIGURINES. I AM GOING TO FIND THAT GUY WHO HAS THESE GODDESSES (AND I'LL LET YOU IN ON SOMETHING BIG -- YOU'LL THANK ME IN THE END, YOU CAN BET ON THAT). I WILL LET YOU KNOW THE DETAILS IN MY NEXT E-MAIL."

After the twin goddess figurines had gone missing -- and after McLaren had e-mailed Lowen to apologize for his basically saying Lowen was a liar and he had made no mistake; then seeing he had made the mistake, he'd flown from Crete to Denmark. Lowen now worried not only that the twin treasures would not show up, but that Dennis Mclaren now would show up.

McLaren had kept Lowen informed via e-mail, saying he'd moved into a room in Copenhagen at a bland concrete apartment building a block up from the slightly less bland stately gray central Cathedral. When the Danish police had showed up at the room, pulling up suddenly in cars with their lights flashing and the sirens wailing, Dennis McLaren had jumped from the room's one window to the ground four flights down.

On the lam, he'd telephoned Lowen in France. Gasping for breath, MacLaren had shouted to the perplexed, furious old bookseller on the other end something like, "Fire cracker. Indiscreet kamikaze. Fevery bare goo!"